Forget everything you've heard about quickies being a pale imitation of "real" sex. Research shows that sex in any quantity or duration is healthy for your sex life and your sex drive. Most people tend to think of quickies as a substitute for passionate, romantic lovemaking. Many sex therapists, however, disagree with this view and encourage couples to incorporate quickies into their sex lives. Not as the mainstay of one's sex life, but certainly as added variety, because there are some definite benefits to even a speedy encounter.
Couples today list lack of desire, time, fatigue, pressure and stress as five of the biggest obstacles to a fulfilling sex life.
They don't have romantic weekend getaways every month, don't come home
to candle-lit bedrooms with rose petals scattered over the bed, and
don't have screaming orgasms as they make love for the fourth time that
night.
Sometimes it's a bit like this: "Do you
want to?", "Well, I suppose so", followed by a half-hearted effort,
before rolling over for much-needed sleep. This type of scenario calls
for a "quickie fix", and fast. Quickies work in part because sexual
activity helps couples feel connected. Couples who feel sexually
connected are more likely to get along outside the bedroom.
They
communicate more effectively, feel more energised, are more
affectionate and argue less. Lack of desire is still the leading sexual
problem among women. Studies in the US have shown a direct link between
engaging in sex and sexual desire. Sexual intercourse raises hormone
levels in both men and women, which increases the brain chemicals
associated with desire. The more often you have sex, the stronger your
desire for sex becomes.
Quickies are also
excellent for reintroducing passion into a sex life that has been long
neglected. Many couples have a hard time prioritising sex. By the time
they get to sex, after everything else on their must-do lists, they can
feel too tired or stressed to bother. Couples also feel pressure to make
each session a long, passionate and intimate encounter, with incredible
orgasms for both, preferably at the same time.
Sex
therapists who advocate quickies certainly promote longer lovemaking
filled with foreplay as a component of a healthy sex life, but they do
encourage couples to be realistic. A few 10-minute quickies can do more
for your sex drive than waiting for that fatigue-free, uninterrupted
night to come along. The best of both worlds lies in the balance. Try a
few quickies to help get to your end goal of a hot sex life with long
lovemaking sessions. A fast approach could very well lead to more
frequent sex, with fantastic foreplay and a lot more fun in the bedroom!
